tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-68778276592187779182024-02-20T18:48:58.041-06:00His Grace FlowsMy heart's desire for you is to experience God's amazing grace and love that flow like a river coming down to us from the throne of God--a river so powerful that it brings life and sustains His life in us and then flows out of our innermost being to others.graceflowsdownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15342271596182483830noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6877827659218777918.post-33947341136991499452015-12-07T10:36:00.000-06:002015-12-07T10:36:17.407-06:00"Is it The Truth or a Lie?"<strong><em>I recently taught a Sunday School lesson to the youth at my church about how we can know if something is a lie. I gave each of them a one hundred dollar bill (play money) and told them what all we were going to do with the money. They all said it was not real money. I asked them how they knew it was not the real thing----because they knew what real money looks like. Experts in counterfeit money, spend all their time studying real money---they do not spend all their time studying counterfeit. That way, they know when money is fake because they KNOW the real thing! The only way we can know if something is a lie, a fake, a fraud, or a counterfeit, is to know the truth--the real thing. </em></strong><br />
<strong><em>What do we spend our time studying? A few weeks ago, the first thing I thought about when I got in my chair to pray was ISIS, Islam, terrorists, Allah, etc. I could not get it off my mind. I had recently watched several disturbing videos about ISIS and what they were teaching their children. I became so upset and disturbed and consumed with the evil of all of it. At prayer group, I asked what our response is to be to all this going on in our world. First of all, I was reminded that the Lord has already told us what to think on in Philippians 4:8--"Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are honest, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, THINK on these things." The Word of God IS the truth and we must KNOW the truth so we will recognize a lie. The Lord reminded me of Psalms 37--"Do not fret yourself because of evil doers"---meaning to not worry, stress out, flip out, wring our hands over those doing evil--because He IS with us---it goes on to say "Trust in the Lord and do good"--that is what we are to do not fretting.. Then I was taken to Psalms 91-"He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, He IS my refuge, He IS my fortress and in Him will I trust. It goes on to say that "I will not be afraid of the terror by night" and then telling us "He shall give his angels charge over us to keep us in all our ways." I have been reading and meditating on these two Psalms---words of life---not concentrating and thinking on words of death coming from the terrorists. My friends also reminded me that even if America becomes Islamized and Sharia Law takes over, we KNOW the end of the story, we KNOW who wins---Our God!! We have read the end of the book---the Bible---we win because we are in Christ.!! Hallelujah!! </em></strong><br />
<strong><em>We have heard that Allah and our God are the same---we all worship the same God----This is simply not true. Our God is nothing like Allah. I tell the youth over and over that the god of Islam---Allah---asks his followers to die for him. That is why they are flying airplanes into buildings and blowing themselves up because they believe it is pleasing Allah and that 70 virgins wait them in paradise along with all the alcohol they can drink. These are lies that they have been taught since they were babies so of course they believe lies because they have not been taught the truth. I tell the youth that our God does not tell us to die for him, our God died FOR US!!! Islam is a religion of hate, the Quran tells to destroy all infidels (anyone not believing in Allah) with the sword. They hate Jews and they hate us next, we are the second satan to them. Our God says forgive our enemies, pray for them, do good to them and bless them---He does not tell us to kill them. I asked the youth what we are to do if a Mulsim family moves next door to us? Are we to throw our trash in their yard or be hateful to them? We are to LOVE our neighbors as we love ourselves. If we say we hate Muslims, we are hating what our God loves because He loves all people. But, we must be wise as serpents and know what the Word of God says---the truth----so that we will not be indoctrinated or taken in by the lies of the Islam religion. </em></strong><br />
<strong><em>We keep hearing that the majority of Muslims are peaceful, however, the peaceful majority is irrelevant to what the evil minority are doing in our world---just like the majority of the German people were peaceful during the World War 11, but it was irrelevant to what the evil minority under Hitler were doing.</em></strong><br />
<strong><em>Beloved, you and I MUST know the truth. The Word of God is the truth. Unfortunately, most never take the time to read and study this amazing book. It is LIFE to us, it brings healing and health to us. The truth is also a person---Jesus said "I am the way, the TRUTH and the life." We must KNOW our Lord---not just know about Him---so that when a fake comes, we will immediately recognize him. I tell the youth that Allah is a counterfeit, a fake, a fraud. He is not our Lord, our God IS the real deal!! Our God is the true God---the only wise, Almighty, All Powerful, All loving, all kind, the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords and His name is not Allah----His name is Jehovah God and there</em></strong><br />
<strong><em> is none like Him!!</em></strong><br />
<strong><em>Our Father God is still on the throne, He is not shaken and He is not moved, and as we stay in His Presence, we will not be shaken or moved by all the evil we see and hear. </em></strong><br />
<strong><em>We can know what we are thinking on and studying on by the words that come out of our mouth. May the living Word of God in our hearts, fly like arrows from our mouth!!! God has need of you to speak hope, encouragement, words of life to all those you meet each day. Amen and Amen</em></strong><br />
<strong><em>Blessings!!!!</em></strong><br />
<strong><em>Carolyn</em></strong>graceflowsdownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15342271596182483830noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6877827659218777918.post-34273721798340288282015-11-13T12:14:00.002-06:002015-11-13T12:14:22.637-06:00"Valley Duty"<b><i>Three years ago, I walked out of Brookhaven Retreat in Tennessee where I spent three months for anxiety and depression, including being suicidal-- plus I had to be detoxed from a prescription drug for anxiety that I had been addicted to for a year, and I also had shock treatments while I was there. I thought there was no way I would ever be able to face people and look them in the eye after going through all of that with the guilt and shame I was experiencing . I TOTALLY underestimated the love and grace of God and the army of people He had raised up to pray me through! </i></b><div>
<b><i>I have had so many posts to share, especially what God has done in my life and heart since Brookhaven, but just haven't been obedient to write them---so in thinking of where to start, I came across this message I had written almost six years ago when I was on a "spiritual high." At that time, little did I know I was about to go through the hardest, darkest valley of my life. As hard as I prayed for the Lord to deliver me out of the pain, I realized I was going to have to go through. Sometimes faith lifts us out and sometimes faith takes us through. Either you or someone you know is going through a valley. I pray this post ministers to you: "I believe the Lord gives us many mountaintop experiences with Him to prepare us for "valley duty." It is wonderful to be on top of a mountain--the sky is so blue--the air so crisp--all is well. It is like that in our spiritual walk with the Lord. When we are on top of a mountain--on a spiritual high--all is well. We feel that life is good--God is good, and we need those times desperately of refreshing and encouragement. However, just like on the top of a real mountain, when you get above the tree line, nothing grows up there. It is all barren. All the lush, green growth is in the valleys below. So it is with us on our spiritual journey--we grow in the valleys of life, not on the mountaintops, because it is when the hard times come, that we realize how much we are in need of God's grace, strength, and mercy. It is then that we cannot rely on our own strength but His. We can feel His presence surrounding us way up high on those spiritual mountaintops, but when we are in so much pain, sometimes we cannot feel Him at all--in fact, we may think that He has forsaken us. Jesus did that on the cross when He cried out "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?" When all the weight of our sins was on Him and He was carrying all that and in so much pain, He cried out to the Father, but the Father had never forsaken His Son--He was right there with Him on the cross In those hard valleys of life, He will never forsake us, but strengthen us and carry us through the valleys. It is easy to rejoice on the mountaintops and say how good our God is, but I believe that even in the darkest of valleys, our God wants us to rejoice and know how loving, gracious and kind He is. I believe He wants us to trust Him so that we will KNOW that He will bring us through every one of them--to rejoice no matter what KNOWING He will never forsake us, never fail us, but is with us every step of the way. That "valley duty" is when we minister His love, joy, peace, mercy, grace and forgiveness, and encouragement to all those people we meet in life who are going through a hard, dark valley. You can be sure as a member of His army that He is preparing you for that "valley duty." He has need of you---many are walking through dark, hard, painful valleys and are in need of His comfort, grace and strength."</i></b></div>
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<b><i>This is the exact message I wrote those many years ago, but I must confess that going through the valley, I did not do a good job of rejoicing my way through!!! Mainly, I was just trying to endure and not doing a very good job at times! I am amazed how He brought me through and used many of you to encourage and pray for me---you were doing "valley duty" as part of being in God's army!! Thank you!!</i></b></div>
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<b><i>Today, there is someone you know who is in one of those valleys, and I believe the Lord will use you to minister His healing love, grace, mercy, forgiveness or encouragement to them---God has need of you!!</i></b></div>
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<b><i>Blessings!!</i></b></div>
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<b><i>Carolyn</i></b></div>
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graceflowsdownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15342271596182483830noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6877827659218777918.post-21314283208750995752015-05-04T13:15:00.000-05:002015-05-04T13:15:53.474-05:00"Ever Been Discouraged?"Asking the question "Have you ever been discouraged?" is sort of like asking the question "Have you ever been hungry?" Of course we have been both!!! Now the question is "What do we do?" If we are hungry, we get something to eat---we don't wither away and die of extreme hunger--we feed ourselves. When we are discouraged, we must begin to feed ourselves on something other than more discouragement---which is one of the things that happened to me yesterday. Being discouraged is one of those tactics of the enemy---to get us so down about something or someone that we are rendered "helpless" to ourselves or others. I remember reading "a discouraged soul is helpless. He can neither resist the attacks of the enemy for himself, while in this state, nor can he prevail in prayer for others." I know discouragement is not from our Father who is our constant source of love, hope, and encouragement. I believe He wants you and I to be a source of encouragement to others. After being impressed to share a story with you, I sat down to write this post. Yesterday in my church was senior recognition Sunday where we honor and celebrate the five high school seniors, one of which was my oldest granddaughter. I so wanted everyone to be there for this special occasion and sent out e-mails and posted on Facebook to encourage everyone to come. I expected a full house---all the pews full for this joyous occasion that I was so excited about !! I prayed and prayed for lots of people to come. When I got to church early, it was not a packed house like I thought, but I just knew they would be coming. I looked around and began to think "Oh Lord, where is everyone?" I began to be discouraged in looking around at the empty pews because it was not a full house like I wanted. I had no idea at the time that I was stepping right into a trap!! The service started and it was a wonderful time of celebrating these amazing five seniors that we have all had the joy of watching grow up--praying for them and loving all of them. My pastor, Leah, gave a wonderful message on Jonah and how God told him to go to preach to the people at Ninevah, but Jonah ran away from God in the opposite direction, got on a boat, thrown overboard, swallowed by a great fish, prayed for three days in the belly of the fish, vomited out of the fish, and finally Jonah did what God told him to do in the first place---we all know the story---but Leah's message was for these five seniors. She told them that no matter what Jonah did---obeying God or disobeying Him that God was still with Jonah in everything he did and everywhere he went-- just like no matter what we do or where we go, God is there---whenever we are doing what God wants us to do or running away from God---He is still with us!!! He never leaves us---ever---just like He never left Jonah!! She spoke words of encouragement to the seniors and to all of us. God's presence with us at all times is a promise we can all count on and believe. Later in the afternoon, I began to see what happened that morning----I was looking around at the empty pews instead of looking at the people who were there and BEING THANKFUL for each and every person!!! There were LOTS of people in church to thank God for---but I had allowed myself to be discouraged. It is sort of like the glass of water filled up half way---is it half full or half empty? Or we can look at the glass and BE THANKFUL for the glass and that it has water in it!! I know that when I walked into my church yesterday morning, I was to look around--then look up and BE THANKFUL to God for each and every person and not fall into the trap of looking around and being discouraged!! This is one of our spiritual weapons----seeds of discouragement from the enemy cannot be sown in a HEART of GRATITUDE!!! I encourage you today to make a habit of looking for the silver lining of every cloud of discouragement that tries to darken your day and keep looking at that silver lining instead of the gray in the middle of the cloud. Maybe sometimes we don't get what "we" want so we will be THANKFUL for what we do get!! Hope your heart is full of gratitude today and that you dispell any clouds of discouragement that might come your way by looking up, up, up to the Lord and thanking Him!!<div>
Blessings!!!!</div>
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graceflowsdownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15342271596182483830noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6877827659218777918.post-56275332193248104352015-04-02T13:34:00.001-05:002015-04-02T13:34:33.644-05:00"A Powerful Weapon"<b><i>Recently, I have been impressed to do a series of blogs on our spiritual weapons. I heard a statement years ago that has remained with me and I believe it to be true. It is "The Christian army is the only army that does not train its soldiers before sending them into battle." No army on earth would recruit members and send them out on the battlefield without thoroughly equipping the soldiers with weapons and training them in the use of the weapons and the tactics of the enemy. We as Christians are in an army---it is called the church----a living, breathing body of believers--you and me. Our weapons according to scripture are not human weapons --we cannot use guns or bombs to defeat our enemies. The Word of God says we have three enemies---the world, our flesh (human nature) and satan. One of the greatest tactics of any enemy is to convince its opponent that it does not exist---if we don't believe we have an enemy, we will never resist or fight. If we, the church, do not prepare our soldiers when they become a follow of Jesus, it is like sending a lamb out into a pack of wolves. Every day we live we are in a battle between the kingdom of darkness and the kingdom of light---evil versus good---hatred and love. This blog is about a powerful weapon we have been given----a weapon to defeat moaning, groaning, murmuring and complaining---all of which our flesh is really good at doing!!! I know I am--after all, we have had more experience in being human than anything else. Paul tells us in Romans that we are in a battle within us--between the flesh (our human nature) and the spirit (our divine nature). This weapon is GRATITUDE--one of the most important, absolutely essential weapons we must learn. Over and over in scripture we are told to "give thanks" and the way we become proficient in using our weapons is just like any army----practice, practice and practice!! However, most of us need reprogramming so instead of griping and being negative, we have the choice to be thankful. It will require us to purpose in our heart to choose to give thanks. Sometimes old habits die hard. It is our choice to wake up in the morning and begin to thank the Lord for the gift of another day---no matter how we feel or if we slept well or not or whatever we have to do that day. We can actually change our mindset and change our day if we determine to thank God----because there is no way we can moan and groan and be thanking God at the same time!!! Only one thing can come out of our mouths at a time---that is why it is such a powerful weapon, but we must use it not just once a day but all day long---until it is a habit instead of the negative. Why not start today practicing this powerful weapon in your life and speaking it out? Let's start now---"Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord for the gift of another day.!! I will rejoice and be glad in it!! Thank you that your grace is sufficient for everything that this day brings!! And that is just the beginning---I encourage you to live a life of gratitude!! Amen and Amen:)</i></b><br />
<b><i>Blessings!!</i></b><br />
<b><i>Carolyn</i></b><br />
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<b><i><br /></i></b>graceflowsdownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15342271596182483830noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6877827659218777918.post-1159469984835738632015-01-26T15:02:00.000-06:002015-01-26T15:02:56.590-06:00"Let Me Loose In Your Life!"<b><i>Have you ever felt impressed to say something to a total stranger---words that you feel God is wanting you to speak? I believe this is God's Holy Spirit wanting us to speak words to others that will encourage them, comfort them or lift them up--or have you wanted to ask others if you can pray for them? In the past when this has happened to me, I usually responded this way--"What if I don't say it right, what if they think I'm crazy, what if this isn't really from the Lord, what if I mess it up, so I better not do anything at all. I have just "what if'd" my way out of doing what I knew God wanted me to do.</i></b><br />
<b><i>About a year ago, when I was praying, out of the blue I heard the words "Let Me Loose In Your Life!" At first I wondered what that meant, but then I knew exactly what it meant. I began to see a dog on a chain--the dog only went where I wanted it to go, only did what I allowed it to, and I had complete control of the dog. It is like with God--I was keeping Him on a chain--just doing or saying what I wanted to do or say without being obedient to the leading of His Holy Spirit." I knew it was "fear"--fear of what other people might think--fear of failure--fear of missing God or messing up what God wanted me to say or do. I believe we can turn all our "what if's" into "What if it is exactly what the Lord wants me to say and do--what if this is exactly what the person needs--what if I pray and something happens---what if this is God directing me? I know something always happens when we pray for someone---hearts are touched--needs are met. When I have asked someone to pray for them, no one has ever said no, but the opposite--they are so thankful for the prayer. Many times, this will happen in the grocery store, Wal Mart, post office, convenience stores--anywhere where people are. Every day, you and I bump into many people who need a touch from the Lord. Since you and I are all God has to use here on earth, it is up to us to speak for Him. It is an honor and privilege to be a part of what God is doing in the lives and hearts of </i></b><br />
<b><i>the people who cross our path every day.</i></b><br />
<b><i>One of the first times this happened to me, I was at a conveniene store. There was a pickup by me with a young man feeding a banana to a little girl about a year old. Another little girl was also in the pickup. I knew the Lord wanted me to say something to him but not exactly sure what to say. I went into the store and looked out the window at the man. I did the usual excuses---what if he thinks I'm nuts, I don't know him, etc. etc. But I was so convicted to speak to him that I told the Lord I would do it. I went to the pickup and when he rolled his window down, I told him he did not know me but I wanted him to know the his daughters were so blessed to have him as a father. I told him some other things too that I don't remember and went to my car. I then heard a still, small voice saying "Was that so hard?" Pretty sure it was my Father.</i></b><br />
<b><i>There are people every day that we bump into that are in desperate need of a touch from the Lord. Sometimes it is a smile, a kind act, an encouraging word, a prayer offered them---it is whatever God puts on our hearts. Why not today, just "do it" and let God loose in your life. Not only will the person be blessed, but you also will be blessed too!</i></b><br />
<b><i>Blessings!!!</i></b><br />
<b><i>Carolyn</i></b>graceflowsdownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15342271596182483830noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6877827659218777918.post-72514896872442951812015-01-03T16:48:00.002-06:002021-06-28T15:14:54.958-05:00"Do I Have To?"<b><i>Dear Friends, I believe this message has the ability to change our thoughts, our words and our actions---even change our life. Several years ago, when our granddaughters were having a dance recital, my husband, Lynn, asked me if he had to go. I told him No--you don't have to go---you GET to go!! He definitely wanted to see his granddaughters---he just didn't want to sit through the hours it took to watch everyone else's granddaughters perform. I reminded him that some men never had the blessing of watching their grandchildren.</i></b><div><b><i>We have a choice every day of our life---it can begin this way. When we wake up in the morning and think "Do I have to get up?"--we have a choice to choose this day as a gift from God and be thankful---then change this thought to---No, I don't have to---I GET to!!! Mercy woke us up this morning---another day to look like our Father---another day to be like Jesus---another day to enjoy and rejoice!! Then as we go through our day we can change all the "Do I have tos?". Like going to work---no, I don't have to---I GET to---a job means I can work---a job means I am blessed with a job---a job means I get to go and carry God's presence into the workplace---I get to enjoy the ones I work with! Do I have to clean house, do the laundry, prepare meals, take care of my spouse----the list goes on and on----always with the choice to change it to I GET to !!!! Do I have to mow the lawn, take out the trash, keep the children------help someone, feed the hungry, go see someone, give to this---give to that---Wow!!!! the opportunities that we have every day!! </i></b></div><div><b><i> I pray we all wake up every day realizing we just received another "gift" from God---another day to live--another day that we GET to carry His presence---to be what we were created to be---to be His image in our world. Next time we start thinking "Do I have to?", I challenge you to remember---"No, I don't have to--I GET to!!" There is another choice, because even though we tell ourselves we get to----sometimes our want to, just doesn't want to! But I believe if we just "DO IT"-- the want to will come. <br />
Blessings!!!<br />
Carolyn<br />
</i></b></div>graceflowsdownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15342271596182483830noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6877827659218777918.post-52900263778585805942013-09-18T09:43:00.000-05:002013-09-18T09:43:13.328-05:00"Out of Death Comes Life" <strong><em>This post has been a long time in coming---mainly because it requires me telling the depths to which I had descended before going to Brookhaven---HOWEVER---stay with me---that is not the end of the story!! A little over a year ago when I got to BH, I had spiralled down into a deep, dark pit----this is something we would never wish on anyone and I hope you have never been there. There is a good chance that if you have never been there, you have had friends or family members that have. At that time, I had begun isolating myself--not answering the phone, texts, e-mails or the front door. Now I know that is a "red flag"---when someone begins to "isolate" something is not right. I was basically not functioning at all---just lying on the couch all day and my thoughts were very dark. At that time, not living looked like a better option than living. I know, my thinking was all messed up. I know this sounds awful, but it was reality for me at the time. I kept seeing myself hanging by a rope in the garage. At first I knew I would not actually do anything like that because I would never do that to my family or put them through that, but as time went on and I sank deeper and deeper, I began to cross a line. It is hard to explain, but there is a point when thinking about something but not acting turns into beginning to act on the thought. It was at the point when I began to plan out how to hang myself and dwelling on those thoughts brought me to telling my family that if I did not get help, I would not be here. Within a few days, I was at BH. I walked in there with no desire to live---I was dying physically, emotionally and spiritually. It would take a book for me to tell you everything that my God in His love, mercy and grace did for me during those three months at BH and in the months since I have come home. </em></strong><br />
<strong><em> So, this post is to tell you one incident at BH that happened. After I had been there about a month, we had a group of artists come and help us paint a picture. We had our easels outside and I knew I wanted my picture to be an old, dark wooden cross with bursts of light coming out from behind it and at the bottom of the picture I wanted written "Out of Death Comes Life." The artists helped us and I wanted the cross to be all cracked looking---just like we are at times in our life----so they helped me use this plaster looking material that cracked when it dried. Then I stained the cross. As I was trying to outline the cross with a paint brush, my hand shook so much from the anxiety I was dealing with at the time that I could not paint a straight line. I began to ask the Lord how long this was going to last. At that very moment, a beautiful butterfly landed at my waist. As I looked down at the butterfly, I knew it was from the Lord reminding me of the promise of new life and that truly "Out of Death Comes Life." The butterfly comes from death--as the caterpillar becomes a cacoon and dies, then out of that comes forth a beautiful live butterfly. I was not able to write that at the bottom of the cross, but I found someone who would write it for me. I kept it on my wall at BH while I was there, and I now have it framed. I see it every morning when I sit down in my chair reminding me of so many things---first of all, out of our Lord's death on the cross, you and I live--we live free from the penalty of sin--because He died, we live. But there is much, much more to this. As we follow Him and "die" to self, He lives His life in and through us---a river of life that flows out from our innermost being. At BH, we painted a "letting go box" and we put in it all the things in our life that we needed to let go of---mine included letting go of trying to please everyone, trying to fix others, letting go of past regrets or mistakes, letting go of worrying about the future---just a few. In thinking about "dying" to self---it is like letting go---"dying" to always wanting to be right---to always having our own way. It is letting go of the wrong motives in our hearts, letting go of bitterness, unforgiveness and resentment towards others, ourself or even God. Beloved, it is just not worth hanging onto all that----it only brings "death" to us. The good news is that when you and I "die" and come to the point of surrending our will to God and truly want His will more than we want ours, then an amazing thing happens----His life comes and fills us with joy, peace and love!!! We live because He died---then we die so that He lives in and through us. Hallelujah!!</em></strong><br />
<strong><em>Blessings!!!!</em></strong><br />
<strong><em>Carolyn</em></strong>graceflowsdownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15342271596182483830noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6877827659218777918.post-56941202187497017112013-07-23T09:10:00.000-05:002013-07-23T09:10:03.290-05:00"WHO Told You That You Were Naked?"<strong><em> In the book of Genesis, when Adam and Eve sinned and then hid from God and covered themselves with leaves, God came to them and the question He asked was "WHO told you that you were naked?" When I was reminded of this months ago, it was like a bolt of lightning hitting me!! It has been almost a year since I went to Brookhaven Retreat in Tennessee--a voluntary, small, women's treatment center for mental health issues or substance abuse. When I got there I thought that I was a failure---that I had failed God---that I was washed up--done up as a teacher and speaker---that all the passion I had for teaching and speaking God's Word was gone. I was dying---physically, mentally and spiritually. I could not sleep or eat and was in a horrible pit. It is a long story that I will slowly share with you in future blogs, but the one thing I want to tell you about that hit me was "WHO told me I was a failure?" WHO was feeding me all the lies? Just like in the garden of Eden, it was the serpent--the devil--who came to tempt and lie to Adam and Eve, it was the "thief" that comes to steal, kill and destroy---the "father of lies"--the accuser of the brethren---the devil, who comes like a roaring lion seeking whom he can destroy and I believed the lies---lies straight from the pit of hell. One of the greatest tactics of any enemy is to convince his opponent that he does not exist. If satan can convince us that he is not real, we will never resist or come against him like it tells us in scripture---"Submit yourself to God, resist the devil and he WILL flee from you. I like what someone said---"I know the devil is real--the Bible says so and I have had dealings with him." I can attest to both!! HOWEVER, "Greater is He (Almighty God) that is in us than he (satan) who is in the world!!"</em></strong><br />
<strong><em> You and I are to be overcomers by the power of His Holy Spirit. If we ever hear "Just WHO do you think you are?"---what we truly believe about ourselves will come rising up out of us---if we believe we are a failure and concentrate on all we think we have done wrong---then to us, that is what we will be, BUT---if the TRUTH--the Word of God---rises up in us, we will begin to believe, speak and know exactly WHO we are!!! You and I are a child of the Most High God. We are joint-heirs with Jesus---the apple of God's eye---a blood-bought child of the King of Kings. We are unconditionally loved, completely accepted by God, and absolutely forgiven. We are an original creation of Almighty God---there has never been anyone like you in the whole wide world and there never will be another like you---ever!!! When we look in the mirror and agree with what God says about us instead of the lies the enemy feeds us, we will begin to love ourselves. The commandments are summed up in "Love your neighbor as you love YOURSELF." Many of us miss that part----We are to receive God's love, love ourselves and then that love pours out of us to others---until we truly accept, forgive and love ourselves, we cannot love others.</em></strong><br />
<strong><em> Beloved----WHO do you see when you look in the mirror? Scripture says you are fearfully and wonderfully made!! This is not about being "full" of ourselves---proud and arrogant. It is about agreeing with what our Father God says about us---believing the truth. There is a scripture that says---"As a man believes in his heart---so is he." What we believe deep down in the core of our being--our heart---then we will be. ALL things are possible, only believe!! We have been robbed, duped and lied to by the enemy of our souls--satan--. Isn't it time to rise up and believe the truth of who you and I really are? Amen and Amen!!</em></strong><br />
<strong><em>Blessings:)</em></strong><br />
<strong><em>Carolyn</em></strong><br />
<strong><em>"Out of Death Comes Life"---next blog---</em></strong>graceflowsdownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15342271596182483830noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6877827659218777918.post-65009015504911145572013-05-15T14:44:00.002-05:002013-05-15T14:44:57.905-05:00"There's an "Angel" in my neighborhood!!"<strong><em> There is a scripture in the Bible that says to be careful how we treat strangers, because some have entertained angels and didn't even know it. I am sure you have encountered many angels on your journey in life---they are everywhere!! Not only are we surrounded by a hugh heavenly host of angels that we cannot see, but we are ministered to all the time by angels we can see. I have been seeing one of these "angels" in my neighborhood for a long time. She walks very slowly around the block and holds one arm up by her side. In the wintertime she wore a green coat and would often be accompanied by a yellow cat. Many times on her walk, this "angel" would stop to pet the cat. As she was walking, she would always check to see if my neighbor across the street had received her paper. If the paper was in the yard, the angel would pick it up, slowly take it up the sidewalk and lean it against her front door. I don't know if she did this to other people in the neighborhood but she always did it for Hazel who lives across the street. I observed her do this over and over. A few months ago, when I saw her walking, I stopped my car and told her that she was an "angel." She just smiled as I told her she was an angel sent from heaven. The next time I saw her out of my bedroom window, as she came walking around the corner, I went outside and told her again she was an angel and asked her what her name was. She could not tell me her name---she is not able to talk!! I asked her if she could not speak because of having a stroke and she nodded her head. I told her it was all right because I knew her name was "angel" and asked her if I could give her a hug which she did. A few days later, a card was at my front door. On the card, was a name and address---I knew at once it was my angel and her name is Lisa.!!! I was so excited to know her name. A few days ago, I looked out the window and there she was!! I went outside and asked if her name was Lisa and she nodded her head and smiled!! I just cried and was so moved with compassion for her!! This precious one cannot talk but she is still ministering love, care and concern to others.</em></strong><br />
<strong><em> Sometimes "angels" come and we are not even aware until after our encounter with them that it was truly an angel sent to us---they fly in and out of our lives. They come as friends, family members and even complete strangers. I have a whole "army" of these angels---friends and family who have prayed me through these last difficult months. I am reminded over and over of the song by Alabama called "Angels Among Us" that says "I believe there are angels among us, sent down to us from somewhere up above. They come to you and me in our darkest hour---to teach us how to live--to show us how to give---to light us with the light of love. They wear so many faces, show up in the strangest places, Grace us with their mercy in our time of need." Many times, these angels come just at the very moment we need them the most.</em></strong><br />
<strong><em> They are everywhere!!!---if we will just open our eyes and see:) </em></strong><br />
<strong><em>Blessings!!!</em></strong><br />
<strong><em>Carolyn</em></strong>graceflowsdownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15342271596182483830noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6877827659218777918.post-71765913827770858812013-05-05T17:06:00.000-05:002013-05-05T17:06:04.749-05:00"Just Do It!!!!"<strong><em> After more than a year of silence and after coming through a very difficult two year period, I am not sure where to begin in posting. There is no way in one post to say everything about where I have been or to begin to thank everyone who prayed me through. In thinking about starting to post again, I have gone through the usual excuses---what if I am not ready, what if I am not well enough, I'm not sure I "feel" able, where do I begin?, etc. etc.----which brings me to this post "Just Do It!!" </em></strong><br />
<strong><em> One thing I have learned on this journey called life is that we cannot go by our "feelings." If we wait until we "feel" like doing something, we may never do it!!. Feelings will deceive us--they are wishy-washy. One day we may feel one way and the next day we may feel totally different!! Feelings come and feelings go!! How many times have we heard or said that we will do it when we feel like it---that our actions are the result of our feelings. Like with love--one day we may "feel" so in love and the next day, we may not "feel" so in love at all. Years ago, someone told me this about marriage. Many marriages are abandoned because one partner did not "feel" in love or "feel" happy---not realizing that love is NOT a feeling-- it is a verb---it is something we DO. It is an action. Many times feelings will come if we will just go ahead and do those things we would do for someone if we "felt" so in love. We have it backwards!! If I feel like it---I will do it!! In John 3:16, this is exactly what love does----it always GIVES. "For God so loved the world (you and I) that He GAVE His one and only Son that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life." Our God DID something!!! He came to earth in human form--Jesus---and literally gave His life for us!! Love is something we Do---regardless of how we feel.</em></strong><br />
<strong><em> Who or what is controlling us? If it is our feelings, then we might never even get up in the morning if we waited until we felt like it!! How many people would actually show up for work if they only went when they "felt" like it? How can husbands and wives love and meet each other's needs if we wait until we feel like it? We use the typical excuses of not feeling like it---being too tired or some other excuse instead of depending on our Father God to give us His grace and strength to "Just Do It!!" I love what a columnist who is over 90 years old said---"Every single day, no matter how you FEEL---get up, fix up, and show up!!!" </em></strong><br />
<strong><em> Love is a commandment--- in fact, all the commandments are summed up in this---"Love your neighbor (that is anyone) as you love yourself"---not if we "feel" like it----but rather--"Just Do It!!!" You might even be amazed when you begin "doing" that the feelings follow:) Love gives first--then receives. Amen and Amen!!</em></strong><br />
<strong><em>Blessings!!!!</em></strong><br />
<strong><em>Carolyn</em></strong><br />
<strong><em>Part of my journey this past year took me to Brookhaven Retreat where I spent 3 months for depression and anxiety. I will be sharing in future posts much of my experience there and what I learned during that time away and what I am continuing to learn since coming home in November.</em></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><em> </em></strong><br />
<strong><em> </em></strong>graceflowsdownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15342271596182483830noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6877827659218777918.post-38560287915400947252012-04-03T12:26:00.000-05:002012-04-03T12:26:07.062-05:00"The Dark Night of the Soul"<strong>After 7 months of silence, I am now hearing the still, small voice of His Holy Spirit saying--it is time to start posting again. This post is called "The Dark Night of the Soul" because that is where I have been for months after going into steroid-induced anxiety and depression and spiraling down into the blackest hole I have ever been in my life. It has been a journey that I never wanted to take, but, evidently I needed to take this very painful journey into complete darkness because there were so many things that the Lord could not teach me if I was not there. I will NEVER be the same person again. Never again will I think lightly of someone going through anxiety and depression. The world is very sympathic and understanding for persons going through physical problems--cancer or whatever, but when people began to have mental health issues, it is a whole different thing and because of the way many people view mental health, those going through the "living hell" of anxiety and depression are so ashamed and feel guilty that they try to hide it so then it becomes now only a living hell but a "silent hell" because of fear of being rejected by people if they tell others how they are truly feeling and what they are really experiencing. Well, this time, I am being impressed to share the whole seven month journey with all of you----leaving nothing out---my experience----as painful, ugly and awful as it was----all I was feeling, thinking and going through. In other words--I am going to "bear my soul" with you telling you all I believe the Lord showed me through it all---what all I have learned from an amazing Christian psychologist who is leading me through a book called "Making Peace with Your Past" about adults who came from severly dysfunctional families--like me having an alcoholic parent. I am amazed at what all she has helped me with. I will be telling you about that part of the healing process through what she has taught me. Also, Lynn and I went to a Grief Recovery Retreat and I will be telling you about my experience and what I learned during that. In order for me to be "real" and completely open with you, it will take me giving up what other people think about me which has been a real problem for me all my life---I was addicted to the praise and approval of other people--that came from my childhood. When I begin to tell you about everything, the only way I can do that is know that I am being impressed by God's Holy Spirit to tell you the entire journey and know then that when I do what He wants me to do and tell you---then the rest is His responsibility. Some will not receive it or judge or condemn me and that is okay. But many will receive---in my being real and just putting it all out there for you to read----that it will bring life---"His life and light"----to many people who are in need of hearing this story. God did not do it the way "I" wanted Him to do it nor did He take me where "I" thought I needed to go or get help from where "I" wanted to go. I kept telling Lynn that he needed to take me somewhere and leave me---to put me somewhere for a month before I drove my family nuts!!! </strong><br />
<strong>As one doctor said a few weeks ago---it is like a football field---I am not where I was (at the one yard line) but I am not at the goal post yet, but I am 30 or 40 yards down the field heading for the goal----to be restored body, mind and spirit---to be restored in the whole of my being and I have to concentrate not on how far I still have to go, but on how far I have come and my past successes. I no longer have to be taken to work with Lynn---which for months he took me to work with him every day--I was never left alone. Just since the first of February I am able to stay at home by myself. I am able to drive now and have even gone to Waco twice by myself!!! Sounds small to some people, but where I was, this is a HUGE accomplishment.</strong><br />
<strong>Now the other part of the sentence "In the dark night of the soul, bright flows the river of God". The bright flows the river of God involves ALL of you. During the dark night of the soul I was in when I could not pray or could not function, God raised up an "army" of people to pray me through. Many of you were part of that army. I will be telling you about what so many people did for me during those months. It will take a while for me to tell you the journey--and it will not be easy for me to be completely real with you, but I will be obedient to the leading of His Spirit to tell it and TRUST Him with the rest.</strong><br />
<strong>I can never begin to thank all of you for your part in my recovery, but please keep praying--I am not there yet, but THANK GOD I am on the way---and it has been by baby steps requiring much time and patience.</strong><br />
<strong>Hope you have a grace filled day!!</strong><br />
<strong>Blessings!!!</strong><br />
<strong>Carolyn</strong>graceflowsdownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15342271596182483830noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6877827659218777918.post-82262068151071694072011-09-14T08:06:00.000-05:002011-09-14T08:06:10.034-05:00"To Hell and Back"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">That may sound like a strange title to a post, but it just kept coming to me over and over because that is where I feel like I have been. This is not a journey that anyone would want to take. I will try to put into words what is on my heart to share with you. After months of dealing with physical issues with my left leg and foot which the doctor felt was coming from a nerve root being irritated , I was put on prednisone (which in all my 63 years I had never taken.) Since I am extremely sensitive to any medications--including almost dying from a reaction to one years ago--after a few days, I began to have an adverse reaction and was told to stop the medicine. Then a week later, I had a steroid spinal injection----not knowing how it would affect me. Since that time many other symtoms started--being "hyped up" on the inside, extreme agitation, sleeplessness and many other physical symtoms--now having such intense ringing in ears that prevents sleep many nights. At times, I thought I was losing my mind. I could not think straight--even thinking I was not going to make it. The purpose of this blog is not to go on and on about what I am going through, but rather to share with you something I realized in the midst of it all. There are times in our lives--hard times which can be anything from intense grief, physical suffering, mental or emotional suffering---any time that is just extremely difficult when we are literally "carried" by others. During this time, I could not seem to think straight, I could not pray, I could not hear the still, small voice of God's Holy Spirit--I was just trying to get through and not doing a very good job of it. I did not praise my way through--I did not rejoice always--I did not sing in the midst of suffering---rather, I did a very human thing---I just cried. I was being "carried" by others. God's Holy Spirit--the Comforter---also means "one who is called alongside to help." Most of the time during the last month, all I could do was cry out to God to help me!!! I began to think about the story of "Footprints"--where there are two sets of footprints during our life when the Lord is walking along beside us, but during the hardest times of our lives, there is only one set of footprints---those times are when He is literally carrying us. I began to thank Him for carrying me through---it seemed to be all I could do. During this time, my greatest encourager has been my husband, Lynn. He has constantly told me that I WAS going to make it through--that I WAS going to be all right and that God would see me through. Honestly, at times, I doubted what he was telling me. It was like I was in a fog and was losing my way. Many times, he cancelled his plans to stay with me. During the worst of nights, when I thought I could not take it any more, I clung to Lynn for dear life. He did everything for me and patiently took care of me. He has been one of those "called alongside to help." Many of you--my family and friends--have been one of those also. I have received calls, e-mails, texts from all of you who have been called alongside to help me---even from some I write in prison telling me that I have been weighing heavily on their hearts. I believe it is the Lord Himself who puts other people on our hearts to pray or call just letting them know we are thinking of them or seeing if there is something we can do for them. That is what has happened over and over to me. Even with a lawyer I just met for the first time who held hands with Lynn and I and prayed for me!!! The real treasures in our lives here on earth are our family and friends. We have seen with all the fires how quickly all our "stuff" can be gone in a matter of minutes. You and I have something much more precious than all our "stuff"---which can literally be burned up in minutes. We are blessed with family and friends. They are the ones who will carry us through everything!!! I thank our God--the Creator of the Universe----for carrying each of us through those hard times in our lives and for sending many alongside to help. I believe He does this every day---putting others on our hearts. I pray we will all be obedient to either pray, call, text or e-mail that person on our heart who is in desperate need of a word of encouragement. I am so thankful for all those who the Lord has called alongside to help me. How BLESSED you and I are!!!! Even at times when we doubt His Word, we are remined over and over that "His GRACE is sufficient"---He sends many to us and we see His life coming through others to encourage, comfort and to "carry" us through.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Blessings!!!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Carolyn</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">I recently visited with Kenneth and his story will be the next post.</span>graceflowsdownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15342271596182483830noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6877827659218777918.post-13275891241910800142011-08-17T09:10:00.000-05:002011-08-17T09:10:56.461-05:00"The Mountain Won't Move!!"Have you ever hit a "bump in the road" that ended up being more like a mountain? These "mountains" can be anything from a relationship problem with a person, trials, difficult situations---it can be anything that we would really not like to deal with. It is just human nature to want smooth sailing in our lives. When we come to these hard times, many times our first thoughts are "Oh, God, why me?" What did I ever do to deserve this? If you will just get me out of this, I promise I will do this and that!!" Haven't we all bargained with the Father at times? Then we begin to pray and ask Him to remove the mountain or change it. Oftentimes this is a person that we are asking God to change or to remove from our lives. We look at scripture and see where it says if we have faith as the grain of a mustard seed, we can say to the mountain to be removed and cast into the sea and it shall be done--so we begin to say to the moutain to be removed---but sometimes, it will not budge!! Then we begin to think that surely this cannot be from the Lord---it has to be an attack of the enemy (the old devil!!) so we then begin to rebuke and command him to leave---yet sometimes, the mountain is still there!! We do everything humanly possible to get the mountain gone---but it will not move!! Sometimes, we become consumed by this moutain--it is all we think about--how we can be rid of it, go around it, be ejected out of the situation, get away from the person or problem!! FINALLY, when we get to the end of "self" and all our human efforts have failed to change or move the mountain, THEN we look up--up to the Creator of the universe--the Holy One of Israel--our very present help in time of trouble--the great "I AM"--our constant companion--our covenant partner--and call out from our innermost being--"Lord, help me!! Father God, how are "we" going to get over this mountain to the other side? I have found that every time I pray and ask the Lord to change a person or remove them, that it never happens---but rather I have found that it is the attitude of my heart towards this person that the Lord is after---it is my heart that needs changing. I have found out that over and over when I pray and ask Him what are "we" going to do about a certain mountain looming in front of me, that I hear the still, small voice of His Spirit speaking to my heart over and over--"We" are going to trust in the Lord with all our heart---"we" are going to cross over the mountain--no matter how arduous a journey it is---He is going to see me through--every dark valley---over every hard mountain--through every difficult situation--whether it is a person or not. My journey will not look anything like your journey---it is an individual, one on one, personal relationship with the Father---we cannot compare our path with anyone else's. He leads and guides us individually. Beloved, are you facing a "mountain" in your life today? Have you tried everything to get the mountain to go away and yet it will not budge!! Could it be there for a purpose? Is there something in us that needs changing? How do we get over the mountain? I think the song "Amazing Grace" says it all---"Through many dangers, toils and snares, I have already come. It is GRACE that brought me safe thus far, and GRACE will lead me home." The prayer of my heart for you and me today is that we will all hear what the Apostle Paul heard from above--whispered to our hearts and reminding us over and over--"My grace IS sufficient." Hallelujah!!!<br />
Blessings!<br />
Carolyngraceflowsdownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15342271596182483830noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6877827659218777918.post-45683752716784074672011-08-09T10:32:00.000-05:002011-08-09T10:32:12.097-05:00"The River of Life"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Isn't the beautiful painting for the blog amazing!!! Kenneth,the artist I told you about in my first post, painted this for me. Over the phone, I described to Kenneth what I was wanting and he did the rest!!! I will try to explain to you how I envision the river of life. I believe that God's grace and life are like a river that flows from His throne into us. This river of life flowing into us brings many blessings--- His love, grace, mercy, peace and forgiveness. It is like a river on earth that flows, and everywhere the river flows and touches, the river brings life--to plants, trees, flowers and it also sustains life--life springs forth where the land is dry, barren and parched. Also, a river can be so powerful that it is a source for producing power-- electricity. So it is with God's river of life that flows into our hearts bringing life and sustaining life in us---His life. Sometimes, we are dry, barren and parched and in need of His life and light. Also, we need our "power source", the Holy Spirit--His presence in us, to be able to do what He wants us to do and say what He wants us to say. This amazing river of life that flows into us is meant to then flow out of us to others who are in need of the same love, grace, mercy and life from the Lord. If nothing flows out of us, then we will be like the Dead Sea---everything flowing in, but nothing flowing out--or we will just sit and soak up all He gives and become "satisfied sponges." I believe all we have received from the Lord is to flow out of our innermost being to others. One thing is for sure, none of us can make this happen or cause His life to flow out of us---He does it. It is all by His GRACE--God doing for us what we cannot do for ourselves. He also does it His way and in His time---ususally when we least expect it and in ways we never thought He would--always reminding us that He is in control--not us!! As I told Kenneth about the river of life, I then asked him to paint what he saw. All I can say is "wow!!." I believe this picture shows the glory around the throne and is just amazing. Thank you Kenneth for blessing all of us by letting the gifts, that the Lord has given you, flow out to us. As soon as Kenneth and I can get together, he has graciously allowed me to tell you his story. He finished his time in prison in January, after being incarcerated for twenty years--half of his life. You will be blessed by hearing his story.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Today, I believe that somehow, someway--probably when you least expect it-- you will experience His Grace Flowing out of you--- bringing His life and His</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> light to those around you in desperate need of His touch.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Blessings!!!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Carolyn</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Revelation 22:1--Next the angel showed me a pure river of water of life, sparkling like crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb.</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span>graceflowsdownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15342271596182483830noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6877827659218777918.post-46652835828680687992011-08-01T15:43:00.000-05:002011-08-01T15:43:52.593-05:00"No Fishing Allowed"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Since today is the very first day of a new month----a new beginning--- I am reminded of something years ago that someone told me about the past. I think all of us at times look back in our past and wish we had not done something or not said something. I believe we all say-- "If I had only done this or said this, or IF only I had not done this or not said that", or we say--"If we had it to do over again, we would do it differently." A very wise person told me something about the past. She said to put up a "No Fishing" sign--- don't go fishing up past adversity, past failures, past heartaches and past blunders. Don't go there--NO fishing allowed!!! We cannot go back and change what is already history--it is impossible. We can learn from our past, but then we need to move on--to PRESS ON!! Absolutely nothing in the past has the power to hold us back unless we allow it to. I have heard that "sorrow looks back, worry looks around, but faith looks up." As humans and being slow learners, sometimes we look everywhere--back and around-- first before we look up. I don't know if you need reminding today about letting go of the past, but I do!! I seem to keep "fishing up" the past and rehearsing it over and over in my mind----which does no good at all!!! Life has NO rewind button--we cannot go back and have "do overs" with anything in our past. As I thought about this, the scripture from Philippians 3:13&14 came to mind---"...but this one thing I do, FORGETTING those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I PRESS FORWARD toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus." </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">I pray His Holy Spirit will remind you and me--- when we begin to get out our fishing poles and start fishing up things in our past----that we will hear His Spirit say loud and clear---"NO Fishing Allowed!!!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Our God is a redeeming, restoring God--He can redeem all that is in our past. PRESS ON!!--the best is yet to come!!! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Blessings!!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Carolyn</span>graceflowsdownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15342271596182483830noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6877827659218777918.post-47986331330981008622011-07-21T07:39:00.000-05:002011-07-21T07:39:23.663-05:00"Are You In Pain?"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">As we enter into a relationship with the Father and begin walking and talking with Him, He takes us on many journeys---journeys to reveal Himself to us and teach us about His ways. I recently have been on a journey to see others through the eyes of God---in two different ways. One is about being in pain---this is more than physical pain--there is mental anguish, emotional pain, spiritual pain, grief and sorrow are types of pain--pain can be in any area. One night as I was lying in bed with sciatic pain down my leg, I began to think of people in different types of pain. I began to see something. All those people in pain "just want to be free of the pain." When people are in pain, they turn to many different things to get relief or to be comforted. Some are addicted to pain medication, others are drug addicts, alcoholics, some addicted to food. My "drug" of choice has always been sugar---using it to comfort me and even numb the pain I was in at the time. Some are in such pain that they commit suicide--at that moment, not living looks like a better option than living. I have been at that same place many times. ALL of us just want to be free of some type of pain. We as humans usually judge and condemn all these people---I have over and over---but when we judge others for what they do and say, we are actually judging the motives of their heart and ONLY God can do that. We cannot see into a person's heart to know their motives. The Father is the only just judge because He sees into the heart. I began to see that when Jesus was walking this earth, when He came across people in pain, He was "moved with compassion" for them. As His followers, when we come across those in pain, aren't we also to be "moved with compassion." On this journey to see others through His eyes, I was driving on a two lane highway behind a car who was driving about 50 miles per hour and driving with half the car on the shoulder and half in my lane---preventing me from passing the car. I had a line of cars behind me, but there was a yellow stripe in the highway. When I was able to pass the car and saw that it was an elderly woman who seemed to have a death grip on the steering wheel, I began to be moved with compassion for this woman and out of my mouth came the words "Bless her heart, she is doing the best she can." Judging the actions of others like this woman causes us to have "road rage" and then we begin to curse people instead of blessing them. How do we look at others in some type of pain or people who irritate us by what they say and do-- and see them through the eyes of God? Only if He does it for us, will we ever be moved with compassion and bless others instead of cursing them. This is GRACE--God doing for us what we cannot do for ourselves. As His grace flows into our hearts, then His grace will begin to flow out of us to all those who cross our path every day.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">"Oh, Father God, cause us to see others through your eyes---eyes of grace and compassion--eyes that see people the way You do so we will bless instead of curse those whom you created and love." Amen and Amen</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Blessings!!!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Carolyn</span>graceflowsdownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15342271596182483830noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6877827659218777918.post-12033713426038788702011-07-14T05:48:00.000-05:002011-07-14T05:48:01.452-05:00"Lay Down The Whip"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Have you ever beat yourself up over past mistakes, failures and sins? I know this well because I have been the "queen" of carrying around a load of guilt and shame---a load so heavy that it is no wonder that I stayed in a pit of depression for years!! Sometimes we wonder how we can live that "abundant Christian life" that we hear about. Jesus said that He came to give us life and give it abundantly, but so many people go around with no joy, no peace and carrying heavy loads. I believe that one reason is that we are continuing to live under condemnation and guilt even though we know in Romans 8:1 that scripture tells us that there is NO condemnation (guilt) to those who are in Christ Jesus who walk not after the flesh but the spirit. We are meant to live "guilt free." When we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from ALL iniquity. Not only does He forgive us---He removes our sins as far as the east is from the west and casts them into the sea of forgetfulness and remembers them NO MORE!!! They are GONE!! After living years of carrying such a load of guilt and shame, I had a "divine appointment" about two years ago with someone from another state who I had never even met. I had no idea that the Lord would have me "bear my soul" to this complete stranger, but when I did, this is what she said to me---"I see you with a whip in your hand and you are taking that whip and beating yourself over your back until you are red and bleeding. Every time you whip yourself, you are saying to Jesus that the beating that He took for you was not enough---that you have to continue to whip yourself; but, the beating He took was MORE than enough so that you do not have to." This is pure GRACE--He did it for us. This revelation brought life and healing to me. She was telling me it was time to "lay down the whip." Beloved, is it time for you to lay down the whip and drop that heavy burden you are carrying? Hear His words in Matthew 11:28-30---"Come unto Me, ALL you that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart, and you shall find REST unto your soul. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." I pray today that we will all hear the still, small voice of His spirit saying to us "Lay down the whip" and I believe He will continue to remind us over and over---because we are slow learners---to not pick up the whip again, and I believe we will hear Him speak to our hearts-- "My GRACE is sufficient---you don't need the whip anymore---I have set you FREE!!!" Amen and Amen</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Blessings!!!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Carolyn</span>graceflowsdownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15342271596182483830noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6877827659218777918.post-84300794882314071132011-07-13T07:11:00.000-05:002011-07-13T07:11:22.947-05:00"Be Content"--but how Lord?Has your path ever crossed someone else's path and you looked back and wondered if it was "chance" or a "divine appointment?" This happened to me recently in Mardel's bookstore in Waco. I looked up and there was my cousin, Karen, who lives in Brownwood, who I rarely ever see. She had come to Temple to have her hair cut and heard there was a Mardel's in Waco. She said she NEVER comes to Waco. In her basket was a book--"One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp. Karen told me about the book, and I bought one. This book came to me during a time that the last thing I was being was "content." Due to swelling in the foot of the leg where I had surgery years ago, the only way I could get relief was to keep the foot elevated which then caused back pain and leg pain. I had been throwing a big "pity party" about the whole thing and having to "rest" the foot. You would think that "rest" is easy---it isn't--it is contrary to our human nature. I did my share of "murmuring and complaining." Then, I began to read the book---the author's story of her journey to the miracle of joy, trust and resting in the Lord. She began to read in scriptures that "giving thanks" always preceded the miracle. When Jesus fed the multitudes, He gave thanks, broke the bread and the miracle happened. The night before He was crucified, He gave thanks and broke the bread, then the miracle of His death and resurrection happened. Ann began her journey by starting a "blessings journal" where she began to write down one thousand gifts of grace--blessings--to give thanks for. The result was not only the miracle of joy but "being content." Paul tells us in Philippinans 4:11---"I have learned in whatever state I am, in this to be content." We as humans are slow learners and we try to do it in our own strength, even saying "I WILL be content, I WILL be content--I WILL, I WILL!!!!--only to find out that our striving to be content never works!! When all along, He wants to do it for us---Grace--God doing for us what we cannot do for ourselves. Only the Father can teach us and take us to the place of truly "being content." It is pure GRACE!!! He does it!! It is also "giving thanks" that comes pouring out of our hearts--not just words--and we find out that we cannot be murmuring and complaining at the same time that we are "giving thanks." What are those "gifts of grace--blessings" that you and I can "give thanks" for today? I am truly thankful to God for allowing me to share His life with you in this blog. I give thanks to Him for each one of you taking the time to be part of this journey----this amazing journey of GRACE!!! His grace is sufficient to teach us and take us to the place of "being content" in all things.<br />
Blessings!!!<br />
Carolyngraceflowsdownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15342271596182483830noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6877827659218777918.post-63200634068627244042011-07-06T06:45:00.000-05:002011-07-06T06:45:29.496-05:00"Following Him Into Prison"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">One recent "step" I took in following the Lord was going into the Boyd Unit---a medium security men's prison located between Teague and Fairfield--to bring the message at their Sunday morning church service. When asked to do this, at first I remember saying that it would be a joy and privilege and yes, I would do it; however, as the time got closer and I began to realize the message that God was putting on my heart, I began to do what Moses did. I began to argue with God!! How could I go into a men's prison and speak to them about submitting to authority and dying to self? He led me to Exodus 4:12 where Moses was arguing with God about why he could not do what God was calling him to do!! He was telling Moses to just "take the first step--go!!" and God would do the rest! I knew the Lord was wanting me to just go, and HE would do the rest, but He was also wanting me to take this step into prison with no notes at all!! I began to argue that I needed an outline, cue words or something!! What if I forgot to say something?---I needed to know where I was starting, where I was ending and all the points inbetween, but NOTHING would come except to trust Him. I wanted to be in control of what I was going to say, and He wanted me to step out in faith and give me what I was to say at the time I was speaking. In order to do this, I had to "die" to what I wanted to do, which the message to the men was "Out of Death, Comes Life." In following Jesus, His path led to the cross--a place of death and dying, but out of His death, we live. It is the same in our walk with Him, it will take us to the cross--a place of dying to self--and out of our willingness to die to what we want, then He lives in and through us.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Something truly amazing happened when I was willing to walk into the prison with nothing except depending on Him. As I stood there looking into the sea of faces of 218 men, I told them that there was NOTHING that I had to tell them---nothing that I could say to them that would mean anything---it would be only words, but when I stepped out and began to speak, He did what ONLY He can do. Almighty God took plain, simple human words and breathed Life into them and caused them to be Words of Life. By the power of His Holy Spirit, He dropped into my spirit what He wanted me to say to the men that morning. After the message, I stood there humbled and amazed as man after man came up to me. One man was crying so that I could not understand one word that he said. Another had only been at the Boyd Unit three days. He showed me the scars on his arms where he had tried to commit suicide. He came up and gave His life to the Lord right then!!! Another man said the night before he had prayed and told God that he had to know if He was real or not---this was it--he had to know, and what I said in the message was exactly what God told him the night before. Another man said he had prayed and prayed three weeks before for God to send someone--and He sent me. Man after man came up and told me what all the message meant to them. When I got into my car to drive home, all I could say was "wow." I was so amazed at what God had done by the power of His Holy Spirit. I had just seen the miraculous happen and our amazing God of all grace had allowed me to be a part of it!!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">I am telling you this for you to see what God is doing inside prison walls. He is doing the miraculous---transforming lives by the power of His Holy Spirit. That morning last month, I was NOT the message--I was ONLY the messenger. Our Lord and Savior, Jesus the Messiah, IS the message. He always has been and always will be the message. You and I are just "tag alongs." He allows us to come along and see all that He is doing in the lives and hearts of people---not only in prison but out here in the "free world."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">What a blessing to be a "tag along"-- to follow Him and see today what He is doing, but it is never us---it is ALWAYS Him!! Don't you want to be His "tag along" today?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Blessings!!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Carolyn</span>graceflowsdownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15342271596182483830noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6877827659218777918.post-8626896235397833852011-06-25T12:20:00.000-05:002011-06-25T12:20:45.895-05:00"One Step at a Time"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">You and I were created to be in a relationship with the Father through faith in His Son--to walk and talk with Him. As we begin this journey with Him, Jesus says to each of us-- "Come, follow me and I will make you fishers of men." We are to follow and HE does the rest--He causes us to become the men and women that He wants us to be--we can't make it happen--it is completely by His grace. We are to simply follow, but how do we do that? I believe it is to be "one step at a time." It is an amazing journey He takes us on when His Holy Spirit comes to dwell in us. His Holy Spirit is the very presence of God in us and one of the attributes of His Spirit is to be our guide---to lead us every day. Sometimes this takes us to places we had never imagined ourselves going and doing things we never thought we would be doing--like having a blog!! Two years ago, I knew nothing about prison and did not know anyone in prison. I really wasn't interested in it either, but the Lord had other plans. I had no idea about all the men and women who are incarcerated in six different prisons that would cross my path. I just took the next step, and the Lord did the rest. Recently, one step took me to speak to some women at a local church about prison ministry. After talking to the women, a young woman came up to me and asked how difficult it was to write to someone in prison. She said her cousin was in prison and she thought her family needed to reach out to her cousin. I told her all you needed was the TDCJ number assigned to her cousin and the name and address of the prison. I came home and googled her name and it told that she was at Mountainview and gave her TDCJ number. I forwarded the information onto this young woman. I do not know if she has contacted her cousin or not, but as I began to think about the young woman in prison, the Holy Spirit began to lead me to take the next step and send her a copy of the book "Heaven is For Real" by Todd Burpo. It is the story of a 4 year-old little boy whose appendix ruptured and he went to heaven. Then he began to tell his parents about what he saw and what Jesus told him. It is an amazing book--a must read--- if you have not read it. Since individuals cannot send books to those in prison, I sent it from my church to her. Only churches and bookstores are allowed to send books. Anyone can send letters or cards to individuals who are incarcerated. I received a thank you note this week saying how much she appreciated the book and that it came at a time when she was going through a hard, stormy time. Another amazing thing is that I go to Mountainview women's prison twice a month---once for a <a href="http://www.kairosprisonministry.org/">Kairos prison ministry</a> second Saturday meeting and then another time for a <a href="http://www.aglow.org/">Women's Aglow</a> meeting. I might even get to meet this young woman if our paths cross in the future!! Yesterday, I sent her a daily devotional--"Streams in the Desert" that I read each day because I knew that was the next step to take for this person I do not even know.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Every day there are people that our God wants to bless and people that He will bring across our paths. As we commit the day into His hands, ask for His grace and His presence, and depend on Him to show us the next step to take, He will do the rest. What is the next step that He is leading you to take today? Sometimes, we can be so concerned about what we are going to do tomorrow or looking to something in the future that we miss out on what is right in front of us---our next step. He will lead and guide you where He wants you to go, and I believe He will do it as we take "one step at a time."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Blessings!!!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Carolyn</span>graceflowsdownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15342271596182483830noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6877827659218777918.post-27911993694484834892011-06-19T14:28:00.000-05:002011-06-23T09:40:10.320-05:00Me??--have a blog!! Are you really sure Lord??Since this is the first posting for my blog, I felt like I needed to explain to you how it came into being. Last fall, after doing a <a href="http://www.kairosprisonministry.org/">Kairos prison ministry</a> weekend, I began to send e-mails to family and friends about the women I had met at prison. Everyone was very interested in hearing about what God is doing inside the prison walls in the lives and hearts of men and women. I would also send out e-mails about different messages that the Lord was putting on my heart to share--things that were not about prison ministry. Sometime in the fall, my niece Allison, who has a blog--<a href="http://www.lullabylubbock.blogspot.com/">lullabylubbock</a>-- suggested having a blog. At the time, I knew nothing about the world of blogging and had no idea how to do it--especially since I am so computer illiterate!!! All I knew to do was pray and ask God that if it was something He wanted me to do then He would have to make it crystal clear. That is exactly what happened!! In March, after sending out a prison e-mail, a friend of mine, Susan (who is a technology expert) responded and said that she sent my e-mails onto other people and she felt like there were other people who would be blessed by receiving them. Then she asked if I had ever considered having a blog and she knew how to do it and it was easy!!! I told her she had just given me my crystal clear answer from the Lord! She spent hours with me patiently explaining how to set up the blog. It is definitely a work in progress. Sometimes the blog will be about people that I have met in prison. I write to 7 females in two different prisons and 10 males in 4 different prisons. What our God is doing in the lives of those who are incarcerated is nothing short of miraculous!! Other times, I will be sharing a message that the Lord has put on my heart. He is already flooding me with many things to share with you. So, where do I go from here? I believe it is to be one step at a time---or more correctly--one post on the blog at a time--always depending on the leading of His Holy Spirit and sharing with you that amazing river of life---His life---that he pours into our hearts bringing His unconditional love, grace, mercy and forgiveness. Then that same river of life is to flow out of us to a world in desperate need of Him. One of the last e-mails I sent out was about my Mother who passed away in April. The message I gave at her funeral service is the first post on the blog. She was my hero is life and this blog will always be in her memory--my precious mother who laid her life down so that my brother, sister and I could live.<br />
Blessings!!!<br />
Carolyn<br />
A very talented artist, Kenneth, a young man I met while he was in prison, is painting a picture of the river of life flowing down to us. This picture will then be added to the blog. When he has it finished, I will let everyone know and hopefully, Kenneth will let me tell all of you his story--he is now out of prison and doing well:)graceflowsdownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15342271596182483830noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6877827659218777918.post-42935741861641837992011-06-17T11:40:00.000-05:002011-06-24T15:05:16.219-05:00My Mother<div><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em><i><span style="font-family: Arial; font-weight: bold;">Friends and Family,</span></i></em><span style="font-family: Arial;"></span></span></div><div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em><i><span style="font-family: Arial; font-weight: bold;">I was given the honor to speak at my Mother's service. It has been on my heart to share with you what I said about my Mother who was my hero in life. I heard someone say this morning---"Faith is caught--it is not taught." This is my Mother's example: it is long in typing it. but if you should have some time to read it and want to, I wanted you to know the Mother I was blessed to have.</span></i></em></span></div></div><div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div></div><div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div></div><div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em><i><span style="font-family: Arial; font-weight: bold;">It is my privilege to tell you about our Mother. She was Mother to us, she was Granny to her grandchildren and she was Bubba to her sisters. Mother was the youngest of five girls--the baby---and her sisters called her Bubba and her nieces and nephews called her Aunt Bubba. When Bryce, Beth and I met together to talk about what to say today, we all agreed that it was impossible to put into words what all this one person--our Mother was to us. There are not enough words or enough time to tell you what she did for us. Life was never about Mother and her needs or wants--it was always about us. We saw in life what few people experience. There is a scripture that says there is no greater love than when a person lays down their life down for another. That is what Mother did for us--she literally laid her life down for us. She raised us by herself. If Daddy were here, he would be the first one to tell you that. He always gave Mother all the credit. She sacrificed and worked hard to provide for all our needs. Mother was 16 years old when she eloped with our father. By the time she was 21, she had three children--first me, then Bryce and then Beth. We grew up out in the country on a dairy. We were so poor--Bryce said "dirt poor," but we didn't know it. We thought everyone grew up on fried spam and bologna sandwiches. I was grown before I knew that spam wasn't real ham!! Beth says she still loves spam! But when we ate our fried spam, we sat at the table holding our fork correctly, with elbows off the table, not chewing with our mouths open, and asking to please be excused when we were through. We couldn't leave the table until we had eaten everything on our plates including vegetables. Bryce figured out a way to get around that. Our table had hollow chrome legs and Bryce would stuff his green beans and peas down the legs of the table!. Years later when we moved, all those dried green beans and peas came pouring out of the legs!! Mother made sure that we behaved. We never talked back to our Mother. She had a fly swatter and we did not want that on our bare legs. I remember calling my brother a name one time when I was very young. I only did it one time. We were expected to behave when we went to anyone's house and we were never allowed to ask anyone for anything--even at our grandparents's. Mother would never ask for help. Even when we did not have enough food, she never asked for help from anyone including her parents or Daddy's parents. To support us, Mother went to work as a waitress when we were very young. She would take us to our Aunt Dicey's who kept us while Mother worked.</span></i></em></span></div></div><div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em><i><span style="font-family: Arial; font-weight: bold;">Beth remembers when she was in high school and doing a yearbook for <place w:st="on">Capri</place>--a club she was in--that she waited until the last minute to type it. Mother never waited until the last minute to do anything--she was so organized, but Mother got a green typewriter ribbon because the club's colors were green, and after she worked all day on Friday, she stayed up the whole night to type the yearbook. The next day, the club got a first place ribbon---because of Mother. Beth said she remembers when she, Bryce and some friends tied a tire with a rope to a car to ride on when it snowed, that Mother was right there in the middle of them!!! </span></i></em></span></div></div><div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em><i><span style="font-family: Arial; font-weight: bold;">Our brother, Bryce, even though he was not the baby, Beth and I always called him "baby Bryce" who could do no wrong. Mother loved all of Bryce's friends and they hung out at our house where Mother fed them her famous tacos, chicken fried steak, hamburgers and much more. In junior high, all of them put together some money and bought Mother a huge box of Valentine's candy and signed it "To Mom." She was a second mom to many of them. One of them, Jackie, in these last years, would come to visit Mother and bring her Chunky Monkey ice cream. In high school, six of Bryce's friends got together $16.00 dollars apiece to buy a 1949 Dodge. The only problem was that they were under 18 and couldn't sign to buy it and could not get anyone else to sign for it----except for Mother. Bryce remembers Mother laughing all the way down to the car lot. Beth remembers when they drove up at home in the car---Mother was in the front seat grinning from ear to ear. They painted the doors all different colors and would drive around all hanging out of the car----all because of Mother. After moving away, Bryce would come to <city w:st="on"><place w:st="on">Odessa</place></city> to play in golf tournaments and stay with Mother. One time, she asked him how he played. Bryce told her he played just terrible!!! Mother said that it was very windy and he didn't know the greens, but never saying he played bad. She always turned everything into something positive. Once when he came in and she asked him how he played, Bryce told her he had shot a 68. Mother grinned real big and teared up and told him that he could have beat Tiger Woods!! She was our greatest encourager and our greatest supporter.</span></i></em></span></div></div><div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em><i><span style="font-family: Arial; font-weight: bold;">You know what type of person someone is if their daughter-in-law loves them and thinks they are wonderful which is what Jo thought of Mother. You have to understand that Jo married "baby Bryce" who Mother had always cooked wonderful, delicious, home-cooked meals for him, and Jo is not known for her culinary skills! One time, Jo called Mother and asked her if a fourth of a cup or a third of cup was the most!!!---but Mother did not say anything negative about it.</span></i></em></span></div></div><div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em><i><span style="font-family: Arial; font-weight: bold;">When I was in the fifth grade, our class had elected a king and a queen who had to walk down a long aisle for the program. My one pair of shoes at the time were worn out and I ran the heel over on them. I did not want to ask for a new pair of shoes. Mother somehow scraped together the few dollars to buy me a pair of shoes so I could walk down the aisle. I will never forget them. They were bright, shiny new penny loafers. When I was in high school, I had an old flute. Mother bought me a brand new Hanes opened-toed flute. She paid for it in monthly payments of $25.00. It was very expensive and a huge sacrifice on her part, but she wanted me to have it. When I was in high school, Mother worked as a waitress at the Golden Rooster. She worked the lunch run and then worked late at night for the night shift. When I got up early in the morning to go to band, I would get my lunch money out of her tips which she had on the ironing board in her room. I remember that I got fifty five cents---the price of a lunch at school. I would never get more than that because I knew how hard she had worked for it and sometimes it was as much as the tips she had gotten the night before. Mother kept a little notebook with the years she worked and each week listed. Then she wrote down the days of the week and how much she made in tips each day---sometimes $3, $4 or $5 dollars--or more- or sometimes less in tips---this was how she provided for all our needs. Later, Mother worked her way through <place w:st="on"><placename w:st="on">Columbia</placename> <placename w:st="on">Business</placename> <placetype w:st="on">School</placetype></place> and went to work as a secretary at KOSA T.V. station. She gave it her all and went from a secratary to National Sales Representative in a very short time. It was a hugh accomplishment. In her fifties, she took up golf. She tackled it like she did everything else. She had a little notebook where she wrote down every round that she played. She wrote what she shot on the front nine and the back nine, how many putts she had, who she played with, how she played and what the weather was like. When she made her first hole-in-one, Bryce, <city w:st="on">Lynn</city> and <country-region w:st="on"><place w:st="on">Chad</place></country-region> were there to witness it and see how thrilled she was!! One of her golfing friends a few years ago told me that Mother made everything fun. When they went to tournaments, Mother hummed all the way there and they would sometimes count the telephone poles. Beth received two phone calls yesterday from two of her golf friends. One told Beth that mother was always kind to her when sometimes others were not. Another told Beth that our Mother was one of the most beautiful women inside and out that she had ever known.</span></i></em></span></div></div><div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em><i><span style="font-family: Arial; font-weight: bold;">Mother was a granny at the age when some people are just having children. Mother was one of the most vivacious, energetic, postive, upbeat persons you will ever meet. She didn't just take her grandchildren places---she did everything with them. She skated with them, swam with them, bowled and played golf with them. Christi said how she never wanted to come home from Mother's. Allison, when she was only five years old, flew to <city w:st="on"><place w:st="on">Odessa</place></city> to stay with Mother. When Allison got home, she asked Jo if Granny was going to die. Jo told her that some day she would. Allison said that would be the saddest day of her life. Beth said how Mother would make elaborate Easter baskets for her four children with games, toys and candy in them. Mother would bring them to Beth's front door, park way down the street, ring the doorbell and run to her car. Cory told Beth that he had just seen the Easter bunny and he left in a van!! One time, Sadie was afraid to go to school because of a girl in her class who was mean to her. Mother went up to the school and got Sadie moved to another class!! <country-region w:st="on"><place w:st="on">Chad</place></country-region> remembers when Mother took them to the Playdium in West to swim and when they asked her to take them to the Natural Caverns that she took off to take them. It wasn't until after they got past <city w:st="on"><place w:st="on">Waco</place></city> and realized it was over a hundred miles that they turned around and came back. She was up for anything with her grandchildren.</span></i></em></span></div></div><div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em><i><span style="font-family: Arial; font-weight: bold;">Seven years ago, the first caregivers for Mother were two granddaughters---Tina and Sadie, Beth's two daughters. Daddy got them to come and stay with Mother in the afternoon while he ran errands. Then when we needed more help, Becky, who was in Mother's Sunday School class came to work, then Robbie. When Robbie could no longer work, then Leeadria came. When Tina moved to Dallas last summer, Betty came. When Becky passed away, here came Rebecca who had never been a caregiver, but fell in love with Mother. Tina and Sadie took such loving and kind care of Mother. They did for Mother things they thought they would never be able to do, but they did them because of their love for Mother. All the caregivers put Mother at the top of the list of those they had cared for. Mother never complained and never demanded or asked for anything from them. She always said thank you for everything they brought to her or did for her. Becky said that when she would begin to complain or gripe about something in her life that all she had to do was look at Mother who never complained. The only thing Mother ever said to me was about five years ago when she told me that she did not know that death would be like this---where you had to suffer so. After Daddy passed away and Beth and I were sitting with Mother telling her about the schedule for the caregivers---at the time, we had round the clock care for Mother, we were telling her that Beth and Teddy were going to come spend the night, then Becky and Robbie would come, then Tina and Sadie would come as we went over the schedule. Mother said--"I'm a lot of trouble." We told her that she was a piece of cake. She never wanted to be a bother or trouble to anyone. Mother was telling Becky, one of her caregivers, what she wanted at her funeral. She told her the songs she wanted sung and she said she wanted Tina and Sadie to carry her casket. Beth called me and told me this--we had to laugh because how were Tina and Sadie going to carry it by themselves! That is why the 8 grandchildren---five girls and three boys---are the pallbearers today. Tina and Sadie lovingly lifted and carried Mother in life while taking care of her. Now one last time, they are going to lift and carry their Granny with the help of all the other grandchildren.</span></i></em></span></div></div><div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em><i><span style="font-family: Arial; font-weight: bold;">Bryce and I want to thank Beth for what all she did for Mother. Because of Beth, Mother has been able to stay in her home these last five years since Daddy passed away. Beth handles the estate, takes care of Mother's home, buys groceries, manages the four caregivers who stay around the clock with Mother. She gets new caregivers when we need them. She changes the schedules of the caregivers when needed and she and Teddy come and stay with Mother when the caregivers cannot be there. She also does this while working full time. When Beth was at work, Teddy would come and help Becky get Mother into the car to go to the doctor. He would follow them there and help unload Mother, come back after the appointment and help with Mother again. Sometimes, Mother would slip into the floor--as happens when caring for someone--and the caregivers would call Beth and Teddy to come. Teddy would lovingly lift Mother out of the floor because he loved her. I asked Beth once how she did all of this--but I know how she did it. She was following right along by Mother's example. In life, we do things that sometimes are hard, but we don't complain, and when we finish doing them, we do not complain about having to do them---just like our Mother. Life for Mother was never easy, but everything that life brought to Mother, she always handled it graciously---never complaining. Bryce and I will never forget everything that Beth has done for Mother. Beth always said that at the end of Mother's life that she just wanted to be able to say that we did the best we could. We did the best we could because of our sister, Beth.</span></i></em></span></div></div><div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em><i><span style="font-family: Arial; font-weight: bold;">Sadie's youngest son, Dawson, a little surprise blessing, would come to Mother's. Mother watched the movie, Shrek, over and over with him. He would sit in her lap and when she was on a walker, he would sit on the seat and ride. Mother's caregivers had worked out hand signals when Mother could no longer get out words. Mother would raise one finger for yes. One day, <city w:st="on"><place w:st="on">Dawson</place></city> asked Granny if he was her favorite. Mother raised one finger. Sadie told Mother that she thought Cody was her favorite. Mother raised one finger. <city w:st="on"><place w:st="on">Dawson</place></city> then told Mother that both of them were her favorite!! We were all her favorites---her children, her grandchildren and her great grandchildren.</span></i></em></span></div></div><div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em><i><span style="font-family: Arial; font-weight: bold;">There was a special place in Mother's heart for Bryce. No son has ever been loved as much as Bryce. No daughters have ever been loved as much as Beth and I were. Several weeks ago, one of Mother's caregivers called me and asked if I could call Mother and cheer her up. Mother was weepy and teary that day, which she usually was not. I called her and said--"Mother, I want you to know how much Bryce, Beth and I love you---how much you are loved and how sorry we are that you cannot say what you want to say, do what you want to do and go where you want to go. If you want to fly away and be with Daddy and the Lord, go ahead and go. Bryce, Beth and I will be okay. We will be okay because of you and the way that you raised us. When you get to heaven, I believe when your feet hit the ground, that you will take off running--with your curly hair flying and you will be free. You will be free of the body that failed you. Mother's body failed her, but her mind did not.</span></i></em></span></div></div><div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em><i><span style="font-family: Arial; font-weight: bold;">These last days when Mother was at hospice house, she rested peacefully. The peace and calm was felt in the room with her. She ministered that to us. Bryce's birthday was on Tuesday. Monday, Beth said that Mother would not go on his birthday. Tuesday morning, the nurse told us Mother was not doing it by the book---her body was showing the signs of going, but her blood pressure was not going down as her pulse rate was rising. On Wednesday morning, I wish you had seen her face. When Beth came in and looked at her, she said her face looked like ivory. There was not a wrinkle on her forehead or her face--it was beautiful. She was getting ready to go home to glory. Later that day, Beth, Tina and Sadie and I were all around her. She had told Tina and Sadie when they were taking care of her---"I don't know what I would do without you girls." Sadie told her "I don't know what we would do without you, Granny." She had also told Beth and I the same thing--that she didn't know what she would do without us. What would we ever have done without our Mother? As her breathing began to slow and her little heart would beat--then stop--then start beating again, Beth's phone rang. It was Bryce. Beth put the phone up to Mother's ear and Bryce told her that he loved her and that she had been the best mother in the whole world. Not long after that, she slipped away without making a sound like she did not want to be a bother or trouble to anyone in death just like she had been in life---but, she waited until after Bryce's birthday and until after he had called and talked to her.</span></i></em></span></div></div><div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em><i><span style="font-family: Arial; font-weight: bold;">We will never forget our Mother and what all she did for us. She has walked before us, set an example and left hugh footprints---footprints that we will never be able to fill. We will remember her in many ways. When we are playing on a beautiful golf course, we will think of her and how much she would want to be there. If we ever make a hole in one, we will remember her and how she would love to hear about it. But, I think the way we will most remember her is when we are eating at a restaurant and when we tip the waitress and hear the still, small voice of the spirit saying to give more, give more, then we will remember her----that waitress might have children at home that need their lunch money out of her tips. We will remember her when we drive through a fast-food place and hand the person the money to pay and say to keep the change--or when we pay for the meal of the car behind us---or when we are in an airport restroom and see an attendant there and give them some money and thank them for their hard work---we will remember our Mother. There is a song "Angels Among Us"--sent down to us from somewhere up above. I believe God in His mercy and grace sent our Mother to us--to love us, teach us and care for us. This is also what all the caregivers are---they were sent to us---Tina, Sadie, Becky, Robbie, Leeadria, Betty and Rebecca. We never advertised for help---when we needed help---they came to us. This is also what all of you here today are. You have been sent to us to comfort us in our loss--by these flowers, by your e-mails, texts and cards---because of your love and concern for us. Thank you for your presence here today and your care and concern for us. This song is for our precious Mother and for all of you.</span></i></em></span></div></div>graceflowsdownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15342271596182483830noreply@blogger.com1